I know I said I wouldn't peek...but....

Okay, so I know that I said we would wait till the baby was born to find out what it was, but when the nurse told me to close my eyes I just wanted to see if I could tell, ya know? If I wouldn't have saw anything I wouldn't have pressed the issue, but when I peeked this is what I saw:I started giggling and Jesse (obediently closing his eyes still) said "Hey! Are you peeking?!" I had to confess that I was peeking and it was completely obvious we're having a BOY! We've agreed on a first name but we're still considering middle names. So for now here's baby Marshall's face and parts:

P.S. I knew it was a boy!

Jesse's Guatemala Trip

I wanted to post about this before, and give updates while he was gone, but I didn't want some psycho reading my blog to know my husband was out of town and come attack me. (To the psychos: my husband is home so bring it!)
First of all, on the home front: The kids missed Jesse like crazy! Cooper would bring me my phone and ask to call daddy, since he was using only a pre-paid cell phone he could only call us and I'd have to explain that to Cooper. I think he just thought I was being mean and wouldn't let him call. He threw some pretty nasty fits, but I think he's okay now. Leila would walk around the house looking for him, always ending at our bathroom dramatically throwing back the shower curtain, only to toddle away puzzled because usually, if all else fails, Daddy can be found in the shower.

I missed him. I felt very pregnant and vulnerable and it was hard to comfort the kids who missed him so much. But, I know what he was doing was wonderful and life-changing for those children and there is no way I could live with myself if I ever denied him his desire to help them.

Jesse called every day, and would give me the low-down on what he was doing, and the progress he was making. Here are the main points I remember:

-There are now 15 kids at the orphanage, almost all of them are different than the kids he met on the last trip, so he had to get to know all of them. 3 of them are under the age of 1.

-They took all 15 to church (and here I was thinking 2 was hard.. psh!)

-They took all of the kids and spent a day at the beach, a day I think they will all remember.

-Jesse learned all about their histories, most of which are violent and horrific. He told me several times it was too much for him emotionally and he'd have take a minute to himself to gather his thoughts. Amazing that they are so young, but have experienced so much.

I love this picture of Kevin with the kids. They loved him and he didn't quite know how to handle it.

The main lesson Jesse learned from this trip came as an answer to a problem. One night Jesse couldn't sleep because he just kept thinking about the inefficiencies of the orphanage, how things weren't being run the way he thought they should and he couldn't think of ways to solve some of the problems. He was frustrated and angry that people gave so much and he didn't think it was being handled properly. He fell asleep upset, but when he woke the next morning he felt complete clarity and one thought came to his head: "I gave My very life and many aren't grateful, some don't even acknowledge it. You give as I have commanded you to, and the rest will take care of itself." Jesse teared up as he related this story to me, and he told me how he shared this experience with everyone else in the group as similar frustrations were being felt by others. He said there was an immediate change of attitude in the group and the whole feeling of the trip changed from frustration and defeat, to charity and love. The group had completely felt love in their hearts before making the trip, for that is what caused them all to leave their families and come. They simply needed a reminder of their purpose to finish with peace of heart.

I'm so proud of Jesse and for the enormous heart he has, and for his dad, Kevin, who shows him how to love and give.

Christmas Card/Leila's 1 year photos

I LOVE these pictures! Our photographer, Deb Ouzts of Funnyface Photography did our wedding and has done all of our family pictures since, and boy do we love her! She has an amazing talent to capture the kids personalities and to get our family as-is. I love it! Here's some of my favorites from the shoot we did for our Christmas card and Leila's 1 year pictures:

I love her little attitude in this one:
I want to blow this up for her bedroom:
Everyone looks good in this one... but Leila looks constipated:

He's such a sweet boy!
My two mens:

I love how he's all into her and she's looking sideways :)She gives great kisses... if you... wanted to know.

This one always makes me emotional. My greatest wish for my son is that he'll be the kind of man his daddy is. Oh how I love them!

This is totally my kids... I really can't describe it... luckily the picture says it all :)

She was in the middle of blowing a kiss. Too cute.